Most busy parents,
especially those in chaotic cities like Lagos, rely on domestic workers
to help them with their household chores and cater for their children.
Over the years,
some parents have tagged domestic workers as ‘necessary evil,’ while
others feel that employing them is tantamount to dinning with the devil.
A banker,Mrs. Yetunde Shonibare, recalled the nasty experience she had with a domestic worker she employed sometimes ago.
Shonibare said
she left home at 6am for her office at Ogba and returned home around
8pm. Hence, she employed a house help to take care of her four-year-old
son while she was at work. the relationship between her 18-year-old
domestic help and her son soared within a short period of time until
things went awry.
“My joy went sour the day I noticed my son playing with his penis.
I remember
that day very well. My son was watching TV and at the same time fiddling
with his penis. I had never seen him do that. I was shocked to my
bones. I asked him some questions and then realized that it was my
domestic worker that taught him. I suspected he had been sexually
harassing my son. But when I confronted him, he denied it.Because I
needed someone to take care of my son, I just couldn’t send the house
help away without getting someone else. I decided to manage him but I
became more sensitive. As time went on, I noticed that my son was
becoming more fearful especially of my house help. It was as if my son’s
personality changed. I became very worried,”
On getting back
from work one day, i heard her my screaming. When i got into her house,
i found him lying on the ground alone at home.I saw blood stains on his
shirt, and marks on his back as if someone scratched him. I later
discovered that my house help used a hanger to scratch my son’s back. I
scolded him in the morning before I left home for something he did
wrong. It was as if he vented his anger on my son.
Surprisingly,
my son tried covering up for my house help, he told me that he fell at
school, but when I called his teacher, she said it wasn’t true. When my
house help eventually arrived, I confronted him with being responsible
for the injury on my son’s back, but he denied the allegation. Till
today, my son is yet to get over the trauma; he has become so reserved
and fearful. I regret getting a house help.”
A medical
doctor, Yemi Oladimeji, mother of a five-year-old girl also narrated how
her house help would sexually abuse her daughter anytime she was away
at work.
She said, “My
daughter was a cheerful and jovial child. But I noticed that some months
after I employed a 16-year-old boy as house help, she became reserved.
She cried excessively, especially when urinating. I didn’t know what
was going on until the day I caught my house help having carnal
knowledge of my daughter. I could not believe my eyes.
I left office
early that day. When I got home, my house help was in his room and
didn’t know I had returned from work. I quietly walked into his room.
Just as I opened the door, I found him on top of my daughter; I almost
screamed my lungs out. I broke down in tears, I didn’t even know what to
do, I wasn’t angry at the boy but at myself. I felt I had failed as a
mother. Beating the boy or sending him packing wouldn’t change the
psychological trauma my daughter was going through all those months. I
hate to recall that day.”
A Lagos-based
businesswoman,Mrs Jane Diya,revealed that the nanny she employed starved
her one-year-old son for months before her discovery.According to her,
the nanny usually ate the large chunk of the food she left for her
baby.Diya didn’t know what was happening until her son started growing
skinny. She still blames herself for her son’s plight.
There have also
been cases where domestic workers connived with kidnappers to abduct
their bosses’ children while some have served as informants to robbers
who robbed their bosses.
The Odegbaikes’
10-month-old baby, Enioluwa Odegbaike, went missing from their home
while in the custody of a nanny they hired two weeks before.
The baby was
believed to have been abducted by the nanny, identified as Victoria.
Luckily for them, security agents secured the release of their baby.
Aside sexual
abuse and kidnap, there are tales of nannies who have caused friction in
marriages. A businesswoman, Mrs. Hannah Ozioma, said a nanny she hired
almost broke her marriage.
She said, “I
had just put to bed and needed assistance in the house. Luckily, I got a
nanny from Benin Republic within some days. I thought she was a
blessing until she began showing her true nature. All of a sudden, she
decided that she was no longer going to eat my food and wanted to cook
her food separately. She became rude and hostile. But I tried to endure
her. Then, she began dressing seductively around the house. One morning,
she came out of her room dressed in tights and a half top and my
husband was in the sitting room. From her carriage, I knew she had a
hidden agenda. I sacked her immediately.”
Psychologist,Dr.
Princess Olufemi-kayode, urged parents to observe their children’s behaviors. She said any child who was being abused in any way would
definitely exhibit some strange behaviors.
“When a child
begins to show serious fright towards a particular person, then
something is wrong. It may not be physical abuse, but most definitely,
the child is being abused in some ways by such fellow. Also, when a
child who used to excel in his academics begins to do badly, the child’s
parents should have a one-on-one chat with him or her,” she explained
She also added
that children who find it hard sleeping at night and those that exhibit
inappropriate sexual behaviour may be experiencing some form of abuse.
“Eighty-five
per cent of cases of abuse involving children are done by people we
know. It’s important that parents employ adults to serve as house help
and nannies, and this should be done through an agent so that they will
be liable to somebody; it’s even criminal to employ children as nannies
and house help.
“A house girl
or boy who molests his employer’s child would have been molested too at
some point in his or her life. And if your nanny does anything criminal,
report to the police immediately,” she said.
Calling on the
Federal Government to amend the Child Rights Act, Olufemi-Kayode advised
parents to show more love towards their children. “Not showing enough
love towards your children pr-exposes them to abuse,”
The founder of
an agency which supplies domestic workers, also urged parents to have
concrete information about their domestic workers before employment.
The founder,
who chose to be anonymous, said, “One can’t really know the inner
character of a person by mere looking at the person’s face. It’s
important that parents carry out background checks on domestic workers
they want to employ. A domestic worker who feels rejected in his
family, and then gains employment in a home that showers children with
love, may probably develop resentment towards his or her employer’s
children.
“The only way
parents can avoid any problem is to treat such domestic worker as a
member of the family. Don’t push them aside or behave as if they aren’t
humans. The fact that they are domestic workers doesn’t mean they are
not humans. These are people that will be with your children all the
time, so one needs to show them love. Do your best and leave the rest to
God.”
The Public
Relations Officer, Lagos State Police Command, Ngozi Braide, also
advised parents to conduct proper screening on any individual they plan
to employ as a domestic worker.
“Go to the
nearest police station to find out if the person you plan to employ has
committed any criminal offense in the past. Also, ensure that the person
has a proper and adequate guarantor. Don’t rely on the information
given to you by the agent. Another important thing to do is to take that
domestic worker to a hospital for a complete health test. They may have
diseases which are hidden.”
She further
advised parents of kidnapped children not to communicate directly with
the abductors out of fear and avoid paying ransom to them.
*Even adult nannies have their own problems oooh.some give the children they tend to breast milk and all sorts of rubbish.
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